Sober
by appa-appa-away
Summary: If only they hadn't betrayed her... or maybe it's if only she hadn't betrayed them? One-shot. Songfic to Sober by P!nk. Azula centric. Please review


**Songfic to 'Sober' by P!nk.**

**Sober **

The smile Azula was giving herself in the mirror was insane, but it slowly faded as she heard that voice.

'What a shame; you always had such beautiful hair,' her mother said. In the mirror, Azula could see she was standing behind her.

'What are you doing here?' she breathed dangerously, turning away from the mirror.

'I wouldn't miss my own daughter's coronation,' Ursa laughed lightly.

'Don't pretend to be proud of me. I know what you think of me; you think I'm a monster.'

'No, Azula. I love you,' she murmured.

The princess had put her scissors down and hunched her shoulders at these words. Her lips trembled and she felt some tears stream down her face – angry tears. With a growl, she grabbed her hairbrush from beside her and threw it at the mirror with such force, it shattered completely, its sharp shards falling loudly to the floor.

Azula fell to her knees, crying hysterically. She fingered at the bundles of hair she had let fall to the ground, the ones she had cut straight from her fringe.

It took her a moment to get her bearings, and when she did, she stood up and walked over to her bed.

'Mother...' she whispered lying down on her bed. She shut her eyes and found herself dreaming. It was alright though; the coronation ceremony didn't start for a while.

* * *

She was back at Ember Island, leaning against a support beam, Ty Lee standing in front of her, talking childishly to her.

'You're a tease, not a challenge,' Azula informed her. And Ty Lee's eyes grew wide with tears. 'It's not like they actually care who you are.'

'But... what...' Ty Lee started sobbing, shrinking away from Azula, as if it would protect her from her cruel comments.

Azula felt a harsh throb in her chest as she saw Ty Lee breaking down, and before she really thought about it, she was taking back what she had just said.

'Alright, calm down. I didn't mean what I said,' she sighed, grabbing the other girl's wrists, gently, 'I guess I might be just a teeny bit...' she dropped her voice, looked around to make sure no one was listening and then whispered, 'jealous.'

Ty Lee jumped at the last word, 'Wait, you're jealous of me? But Azula, you're the most pretties, smartest girl I know.'

'Well you're right about all those things, but for some reason every time I'm around boys, they act like I'm going to do something terrible to them,' she explained, not making eye contact with the girl.

But Ty Lee started laughing, 'That's because you probably would do something terrible to them.' Azula sighed, but soon felt a hand on her shoulder, 'I'm sure they're just intimidated by you. Look,' she pulled Azula around to face her. The Princess looked into her childish eyes, 'if you want a guy to like you, all you have to do it smile at him, and laugh at everything he says, even if it's not funny.'

Azula sighed, 'Well that sounds selfish, and stupid.' Then, she looked Ty Lee in the eye and smiled, 'let's try it.'

'Hey there, Sugar-Sweet-Cakes,' she randomly complimented, 'how you liking this party?'

Azula laughed loudly, trying not to blush as she felt all eyes in the room turning to her. She kept a cheesy grin on her face until everyone looked away from her. In her head, she scolded herself for letting Ty Lee get the better of her.

_I don't wanna be the girl that laughs the loudest_

_Or the girl who never wants to be alone_

Suddenly, she was no longer at the party and she was no longer with Ty Lee. She was walking up a dark and silent road, her only company the wind, until she saw Zuko, sitting on the veranda of their father's old beach house.

'I thought I'd find you here,' she told him. He looked up and put down what he was holding – something made out of stone. 'Come down to the beach with me,' she offered quietly, 'come on. This place is depressing.'

Zuko stood up and followed her away.

_I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the morning_

_Cuz I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home_

Everything around her seemed to change as Mai and Ty Lee came into view, sitting around on the dark beach.

It was suddenly daytime, and she was lounging on the beach, away from where Zuko and Mai were lying and away from where Ty Lee was being pampered by every boy that passed her.

But it was too bright outside, and she had to shield her eyes. Her hands didn't seem to block out the light.

_Aah the sun is blinding_

_I stayed up again_

She found herself returning to her room, half dressed in a Kyoshi Warrior uniform after meeting Long Feng for the first time.

_Oh, I am finding_

She slumped down soundlessly on her bed, but instead, she found herself lying on the ground, glaring back up at Mai and Ty Lee at the Boiling Rock Prison.

The guards came and held the two traitor girls tight, 'What should we do with them, Princess?'

'Throw them away where I'll never have to see their faces again. And leave them to _rot!_' Azula spat in disgust.

_That that's not the way I want my story to end_

* * *

Suddenly, back in her room, Azula sat up, wide awake. She had been having strange dreams – snippets of the recent past – for the last week or so. It was really starting to creep her out. But Azula wouldn't break down because of this; they were just dreams after all. It wasn't like they were going to kill her.

Azula went over to her window. It was a slide-door window that led out onto a balcony. She stepped outside and looked down at the city – _her _city. _She _was the new Fire Lord.

_I'm safe, up high_

_Nothing can touch me_

_But why do I feel this party's over?_

She recalled her dream. The party at Ember Island, looking for Zuko, lazing around on the beach – it had all seemed fun at the time, or at least, it was worth her time. No, it had been nothing but a big waste of time, but it had been a good waste of time.

She didn't regret arresting Mai and Ty Lee. They were traitors! They had to be punished!

_No pain inside_

_You're my protection_

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

Looking out into the bay, she watched the boats bob up and down in the water, gently knocking against the docks. The small, abandoned strip of beach that bordered the edge of the city was dark – the sun had never fancied supplying light for that area for a long amount of time.

* * *

She remembered when she had been with Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee and they had had an argument while lounging on the beach on Ember Island one night.

'Well, I'm sorry I can't be as strong, high and crazy and all of you,' Mai sighed, leaning back.

_I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence_

_The quiet scares be cuz it screams the truth_

'I'm sorry too,' Zuko stood up and looked at her, 'sometimes I wish you would be as strong, high and crazy as all of us, instead of keeping all of your feelings bottled up inside!'

'What do you want from me?' she asked, lying back, 'some sort of story about how hard my life was? Well it wasn't. I was a rich only child who got everything she wanted... as long as I behaved... and sat still... and didn't speak unless spoken to... my mother said we had my father's political career to think about,' she explained softly.

'So that's it then,' Azula spoke, 'you had a controlling mother with expectations and if you strayed from them you were shut down,' she could see the dark look coming over Mai's face as she spoke, but she continued anyway, 'that's why you're afraid to care about anything, and why you can't express yourself.'

'You want me to express myself?' she stood up angrily, and for a moment, they all wondered who this girl was and what had she done with Mai. 'Leave me alone!'

_Please don't tell me that we had that conversation_

_I won't remember, save your breath, cuz what's the use?_

* * *

The sky outside was red, although the sun had already set. The comet gave light to the land as if it were daytime.

_Aah the night is calling_

_And it whispers to me softly come and play_

She walked back inside, the sky suddenly making her think of blood and that thought making her feel sick to her stomach. She didn't know why; Azula had never been afraid of blood. But perhaps when the whole sky seemed to be bleeding, her mind would change. Maybe that was why she felt sick standing outside.

But when she got back into her room, she was shocked to find her mirror in shards all over the floor. And for a moment, Azula had no idea what had happened. But when she saw her hairbrush, lying in the midst of the debris, she remembered. The scissors, her hair, that voice, the image, her mother, the words... and then the hairbrush and the shattering glass. She had done this all herself.

Princess Azula shook her head to wake herself from her dazed thoughts.

_I, I am falling_

_And if I let myself go I'm the only one to blame_

She looked at herself in one of the shards and cringed at her hair. It was done up badly, and her newly cut fringe looked terrible. It was uneven and didn't suit her at all.

But when she saw the time, she forgot about her hair. If she didn't leave her room now, she'd be late for her own coronation. Straightening out her clothes, she strutted out.

* * *

It was about to happen any moment. The elder Sage raised the Fire Nation Royal Flame over her head – her crown.

_I'm safe, up high_

_Nothing can touch me_

_But why do I feel this party's over?_

_No pain, inside_

_You're like perfection_

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

'What are you waiting for?' she demanded when the man stopped mid-sentence. But all she had to do was follow his gaze and looked up at the sky to see a giant bison flying down. And sitting on top of Appa's head were Zuko and that Water Tribe witch.

Sighing inwardly, Azula stood up.

'Sorry Azula, but you're not the one who's going to become Fire Lord today; I am!' Zuko spoke confidently.

'Alright, brother,' she signaled for her guards not to attack, 'Agni Kai! Just you and me; the showdown that was always meant to be.'

'You're on,' he agreed, his eyes narrowed so harshly on her, she almost faltered. But she saw the fear in that waterbender's eyes as she turned and whispered something to Zuko. He said something back, but Azula couldn't hear them. But the fear remained in her eyes, even though she nodded to whatever her brother had just said.

They took separate paths to an area they deemed worthy of an arena. A battle between Phoenix King Ozai's children. This would be a fight to remember.

Azula wasn't paying attention to anyone on the sidelines. Her focus was solely on Zuko.

'I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother,' she smirked, shrugging off her outer robe and dropping it carelessly on the ground.

'No, you're not,' Zuko contradicted her.

And the fight began.

They were pretty equally matched at first. But Azula could plainly see who was winning because of one difference – she was panting for breath, and Zuko hadn't even broken a sweat. She would never admit it, but she was losing.

_Coming down, coming down, coming down_

_Spinning round, spinning round, spinning round_

_I'm looking for myself, sober_

She used her firebending with one hand to thrust herself forward and she flew around Zuko, throwing fire at him with her other hand. But he deflected it all perfectly and countered her easily. And when he blasted right at the base of her own fire, she found herself tumbling over to the other side of this courtyard. Azula could have sworn she had almost broken her neck, and when she got to her feet again, panting, she only had a moment to get out of the way before she was burnt to a crisp. Azula only just managed to evade her brother's attack and she didn't get right back up when she stumbled over. It wasn't until he set her off with words that she found her feet again.

'No lightning today? What's the matter, afraid I'll redirect it?' he mocked her.

Azula got angrily to her feet, 'I'll show you _lightning!_' she spat. With that, she began executing her well practiced form, and the lightning came into being and followed her fingers.

_Coming down, coming down, coming down_

But she didn't aim her lightning at her brother; she shot out at the waterbender, knowing her dear, noble brother would jump in front of her to save her.

_Spinning round, spinning round, spinning round_

Just as she expected, Zuko knew what she was up to, and for once, he would let her get away with it.

'No!' he jumped, arms outstretched to redirect it. But he only got rid of half – the other half he took to the chest, just below his heart. And he fell, writhing in pain, but refusing to scream. Zuko curled up where he lay, electricity still caught inside him.

And now the girl tried to get to him. But no, Azula wouldn't let her do that; she knew that Katara could heal him.

_I'm looking for myself, sober_

Katara had no extraordinary powers because of Sozin's Comet; she was a waterbender, not a firebender. So Azula wasn't afraid of her. Not that she had been afraid of Zuko – she had just not been aware of how much greater his powers might have become. But Azula could see she was winning; Katara couldn't stand and fight her. She kept running and hiding, ducking and dodging, avoiding and evading...

But suddenly, she lost sight of Katara. She had thrown fire at her, had she really burnt the girl into nothingness? How could that be? There must have been remains if that were the case. But Azula could see no pile of ash or hear anybody screaming in pain. She wandered about the edges of the courtyard.

And there was Katara, standing on top of the grates, just beneath shelter.

'There you are, peasant!' Azula snarled.

With that, she closed the gap between them and thrust her hands forward to strike Katara in the face. But at the same time, Katara flung her arms upwards, and before the Princess could figure out what was happening, they were both encased in ice.

Azula felt cold fear gripping her as she realized that she couldn't breathe. Was Katara going to let her die? Just as that thought occurred, Katara unfroze the water directly around her and Azula noticed that she held chains in her hands. The waterbender unfroze the water as she moved about, to force Azula's arms together behind her back. And soon, Azula realized that she was chained to the grate.

With that, Katara let the water down and both girls fell to their knees, panting.

Katara tightened Azula's chains and the girl realized that she was trapped.

_When it's good then it's good it's so good till it goes bad_

Azula tried to get back up, she tried to break free as Katara raced for her brother. She struggled, trying to get on top of things again. She couldn't lose!

_Till you're trying to find the you that you once had_

She needed backup, but no one around was on her side. She was on her own and she was in a position she couldn't get out of. Where were Mai and Ty Lee when she needed them? Oh, that's right; she had imprisoned them because they had betrayed her. She had no one.

_I have heard myself cry never again_

When Zuko sat up and Katara helped him stand, Azula felt her world fall apart. Zuko had just proven that he really could beat her (even if he had had a bit of help). It was over and she hadn't come out the winner.

Azula started to cry, fat tears streaming down her face and fire spitting out of her mouth as she screamed hysterically in anger and misery.

_Broken down in agony just trying to find a friend_

The waterbender and her brother looked pityingly down on her and she felt herself fall backwards from the force of her own flames, and she couldn't get back up. She just lay there, crying and screaming.

As the comet disappeared from the sky and darkness fell, the Avatar showed up. And all the worse, her father had come with him, also having been defeated. By now she had stopped crying. Her throat was raw from screaming and she barely had strength enough to lift up her head and watch the reunion between the friends and family.

A guard approached her some time later, she wasn't sure when. He grabbed her with the help of some other people – she had only noticed the one man but she felt many hands – and they took her away. Azula closed her eyes, all of her energy drained, gone. They dragged her away while she tried to think of a better time.

_I'm safe, up high_

_Nothing can touch me_

_But why do I feel this party's over?_

In the morning, she awoke, half hoping it had been nothing more than a bad dream. But she was in a prison cell and she knew she wasn't getting out.

_No pain, inside_

_You're like perfection_

She imagined that she was still dreaming.

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

If only Mai and Ty Lee had been there to back her up. If only they hadn't betrayed her... or maybe, it was if only she hadn't betrayed them. She was supposed to be their best friend, yet she had given the order for them to be locked away to rot. Maybe if she had been nicer to them... nicer to _everyone_! Then maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't be in this situation.

_I'm safe, up high_

_Nothing can touch me_

_But why do I feel this party's over?_

But as Azula sat there, unable to do anything but pretend that she didn't care and that she wasn't afraid, she realized she could relax. She was trying to make it better for herself with what she thought. So she thought; she no longer needed to please anyone. The was no one else she needed to try and get rid of, because they had won. The battle was over. She just hadn't been the winner.

_No pain, inside_

_You're like perfection_

And suddenly, Azula didn't care. She promised herself she didn't care, because she knew that if she did, she would break and everything would just fall apart again. She had to keep sober, or she would never figure out this riddle called Life.

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

And as she waited for that all to sink in, she stared up at the ceiling. In the back of her head, all she could hear was that voice.

'I really do love you, Azula,' her mother whispered. And the Princess let one, unbelieving tear run down the side of her face.

* * *

**So... I wrote this ages ago and felt like posting something, so I did a little bit of an edit. Allow me to apologize once again to the people who usually get a review from me for EVERYTHING they post, but I really have to stay as concentrated as I can on schoolwork and you have a tendency of being a distraction... so I'm ONLY reading what I've already started reading... until you finish writing it, then I'll read something else :) **

**Don't be mean, I suck at songfics. But please do leave a review :D**

**Fictionpress: www(dot)fictionpress(dot)com/u/657750/Black_Sparrow  
**

**Deviantart: appa-appa-away(dot)deviantart(dot)com**


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